每一次看完《老友记》后，都会有这样一些场景和台词在我的脑海中挥之不去。以下是本站小编为大家准备的老友记的经典搞笑台词，希望大家喜欢!
老友记的经典搞笑台词(一)
1、Monica: Live together? There have been no signs for that.
“住在一起?可是并没有什么预兆呀?”
Chandler: Me asking is kind of a sign.
“那就让我的请求作为一种征兆吧。”
2、Chandler: I love you!
“我爱你”。
Monica: I love you!
“我也爱你。”
Chandler: Are you hugging the door right now.
“你现在在紧贴着门说话吗?”
(Pause)
Monica: No.
“没有。”
Chandler: Yeah-yeah, me neither.
“咳、咳……我也没有。” 钱德勒好可爱呀。
3、Joey: (To Monica) Okay! Look-look-look, uh, if you’re gonna be moving in with him I feel it’s my responsibility to tell you the truth about him! Okay? He’s a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to umm… Oh-oh he always, he always umm—Oh, who am I kidding! He’s the best roommate ever! (Hugs Chandler.)
“如果你真打算和他一起住，你得清楚这意味着什么。他这个室友差劲极了，他老忘了……嗯，他总是，他总是……得了吧，他是全世界最好的室友。”
4、Ross: I’ve known you both a long time, and I’ve never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as you’ve been since you’ve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
“我认识你们这么久，你们在一起后生活比以前幸福了一百万倍。而现在，你们要为一件破房子的安置把这种幸福抛之脑后吗?这太蠢了。什么在你生命中是最重要的，是爱情还是愚蠢?”
5、Joey: This is how much we pay for electric?!!!
Chandler: Uh, yeah.
(Joey runs over and shuts off the lights.)
钱德勒要搬走了，乔伊才知道电费有多贵，乔伊就像个特别单纯的小孩，需要人照顾，能认识兄长般的钱德勒，是他最大的幸运。
6、Joey: Well, what’s it called?
Chandler: Cups.
钱德勒为了给乔伊一些钱又不伤他自尊，创造了一个全新的cups游戏。(规则以反拖拉机为基础，准则是乔伊有什么牌，什么牌就是大的)
7、Ross: Oh y'know what, girls don't like it when I start talking about science. Uh, they don't like it when you correct their grammar.
Chandler: And they don't like it when you explain why your jokes are funny.
Ross: They don't like it when you keep asking them if they like you.
罗斯和钱德勒传授给乔伊的“拒妞大法”，包括谈论科学，纠正语法，反复问对方爱不爱你，详细解释自己的笑话为什么好笑，当然，钱德勒那句“Ba dum bumb cheshhh!”更为经典。女人缘稍差的兄弟们，看好了，不过要记得反其道而行之，比如谈论文学，混淆语法，绝对不说我爱你，详细解释自己的笑话为什么无聊，做到这些，你就可以跟我一样光棍一辈子了。
8、Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun.
菲比真的是自然率性的典范，丝毫不在乎外人的眼光，跑起来像青蛙，是因为这是她自己唯一觉得有趣的跑法，就像这样怪里怪气的做人，可能是她唯一觉得有趣的活法吧。后来瑞秋也这么跑，则不是源于个性，而是对朋友的肯定和支持了。
9、Monica: Mmmm!
瑞秋在感恩节做了个无比难吃的怪东西，大家为了怕伤她的心，都极力做出很享受的样子。
10、Monica: 5 6 7 8!
莫尼卡和罗斯兄妹的超炫组舞，个人觉得很具有观赏性。也凸现了这对从小打到大的娃娃幸福的一面，那里有相同的回忆，成长的印记。
11、Joey: No! Year! Happy No Year!
乔伊的午夜之吻计划被导演打断，情不自禁大声吼了出来。情圣不愧是情圣，以下是此事相关对白：
“那一刻，你的红唇对我是不可抵挡的诱惑。”
“那一刻，我也有要吻你的冲动。”
“我那心跳的感觉持续到现在还挥散不去，3，2，1。”
“你不必每次吻我都倒数计时。”
“不，我只是需要一点时间找回呼吸。”
12、Chandler: I don’t wanna know what Monica got me. Y’know? I mean, look, I’m sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me，I wanna see the look on Monica’s face when I give her my present, and I’m sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine.
“我不在乎自己的礼物是否比莫尼卡的更好，我知道莫尼卡一定在这方面花了很多心思。当我送她礼物时，我最期待的是她那惊喜而幸福的表情，我想，她送我礼物时也一样。所以，千万千万不要再找她的礼物了好吗?实实在在的爱与惊喜就是最好的礼物，这才是感恩节的真谛。”
13、Chandler: Look at us, we’re a couple of couples!
乔伊带辣妹室友跟钱德勒夫妇共进晚餐，钱德勒管他们四人叫做一对一对。钱德勒给乔伊钱付帐，买好酒装做是乔伊买的，可惜辣妹不喜欢这对慷慨的夫妇，乔伊只好忍痛重义轻色了。
14、Chandler: If you need money, will you please-please just let me loan you some money?
乔伊穷得停了有线，断了电话，钱德勒很诚恳地要帮他。
说来惭愧，毕业以后，小可一直十分窘迫，在此谢谢帮助过我的那些钱德勒，并期待自己的big break，来回报大伙儿。
15、Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Monic
老友记的经典搞笑台词(二)
1、Chandler: All right, there’s a nuclear holocaust, I’m the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
“如果核爆炸，世界上只剩我一个男人，你会爱我吗?”
钱德勒不停地问莫尼卡会不会爱他，答案都是否定的。你能想象几年后他们有那么幸福吗?
2、Joey: That’s right I stepped up! She’s my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, I’d pee on anyone of you!
乔伊白痴而感人的宣言：“如果你们需要，我可以在你们任何人身上尿尿。”
3、Ross: I didn’t know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didn’t finish the whole letter!
罗斯真的有些小气，作为男生承担这些责任又怎么了?过去听他讲“on the break”觉得好玩，现在越来越觉得这时的他可恨了。
4、Mrs. Geller: And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer.
聚会上人们都喜欢吃莫尼卡做的东西，盖勒夫人终于承认了自己的女儿，说下次再也不会准备备用食物了。
5、Chandler: Oh, I just wanted to say, "Hey!"
钱德勒跑过好几条街，跌倒了无数次，只是为了跟女孩子说一句“hey”。可惜她是乔伊的女友，虽然她跟钱德勒更合适。
还是喜欢做一个会气喘吁吁的说“真巧”的男孩，不管我有多老，追着喜欢的女孩跑，永远是最美的心跳牵动的心跳。
6、Chandler: That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
钱德勒说出对乔伊女友的真实感受：“从见到她的第一眼开始，我就不可救药的爱上了她，我疯了似的思念她，梦寐以求有她相伴左右。每一天每一小时每一分钟的每一秒里我都在痛恨自己为什么不能比你早认识她。”
7、Chandler: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren.
钱德勒跑了许多家书店，问了许多书商，又给原作者的后人打了许多电话，才买到了很稀有的书作为生日礼物，但乔伊只买了一支能看时间的笔，所以，钱德勒只好跟乔伊互换了礼物。 越来越爱钱德勒!
8、Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just would've just stepped aside.
钱德勒如果早跟乔伊坦白自己对乔伊女友的感受，情况会好得多。
或者说，罗斯早跟钱德勒说这些话，情况就会好得多。
9、Joey: When that guy was robbing us, and I was locked in the entertainment unit for like six hours, you know what I was doing in there all that time? I was thinking about how I let you down!
“我们家被抢劫的时候，我被关在橱子里，整整六个小时，我都在想我会害你多难过。”
10、Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire, livin’ in a box!!
莫尼卡因为先后和理查父子约会受到指责，然后愤怒的揭短。是呀，六人中没有一个的人生完美，但他们都在快乐的生活;没有一个没犯过错，但他们都是最善良的。
11、Rachel: Don’t say that I have no sentiment! This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! This is from the museum from the first time we… were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
瑞秋让人动情的一刻：“不要说我没有人情味儿。这是我们第一次一起看电影的票根，这是你第一次为我做早餐时剩的蛋壳，这是我们第一次约会时从博物馆拿的化石。我可能会把你们送的礼物退掉，但我会保留所有我认为值得珍藏的东西。”
12、KATHY: you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm… Listen I don’t wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I can’t stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I don’t wanna be the cause of that. So, I don’t think we can see each other anymore. I’m gonna go to my mom’s in Chicago, I’m gonna stay there for awhile. I think this could’ve be something really amazing, but y’know this is probably for the best. Y’know? I’m gonna miss you. Good-bye
凯茜对箱子里的钱德勒所说的话：“你现在不能说话也好，这样我们的离别也不必那么难受。我不想做影响你们兄弟感情的女人，我没法眼睁睁的看着你们为了我互不理睬。所以我觉得我们还是不要再见面了，我会去芝加哥我妈那调整一段时间。我知道我们在一起会有多么幸福，但现在来看，分开才是最好的结局。你能理解吗?我会想你的。亲爱的再见。”
13、Phoebe: Yeah. That’s what you really want. Yeah, I don’t want to be the reason you’re unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really don’t want to be the reason I’m unhappy.
菲比放弃了和莫尼卡的餐车，支持她去做大厨。因为那是莫尼卡真正想做的，委屈莫尼卡就是委屈她自己，菲比不想委屈自己……
14、Phoebe Sr: I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life.
菲比的妈妈对她说：我抛弃过两个孩子，我多希望当时有人能告诉我这是多么糟糕的事情，这使得我以后的日子每一天都在无尽的悔恨中度过。
15、Monica: 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, …7..…7…7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7…(mouths 7)!
无话不谈的老友，钱德勒的女友当晚跑过来跟莫尼卡致谢。
16、Ross: I’m having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. I’m having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, if he’ll sit with me.
罗斯为了好朋友乔伊，在博物馆的午餐桌上发起了反对阶级歧视运动。
17、Phoebe: No, I’m really okay with this. Y’know why? ‘Cause look at them, and I made that, so… I know it’s gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, it’s gonna feel like a million times better, right?
菲比决定为弟弟和弟妹生孩子。虽然放弃孩子时会有十万分的难过，但看到弟弟弟妹高兴的样子，也会有十万分的幸福。全世界最伟大的姐姐。
18、Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! I’m-I’m playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!
Chandler: Well, you can understand, given how we started.
凯茜对钱德勒说你怎么能觉得我背叛你呢?钱德说那我们又是怎么开始的?
难以置信聪明、善良的钱德勒会说出这么伤人的话。永远不要揭爱人的伤疤，尤其是这伤疤是为你而结。
19、Joey: Well, suppose until the baby’s born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-you’d just be eating my animals.
菲比怀孕后很想吃肉，但素食主义的她很在意杀生。食肉狂人乔伊为了让她心安，自动戒肉直到小孩子出世，把吃肉的机会让给了好朋友。
20、Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monica’s photo albums, I mean you don’t do that if you’re just in it for two weeks.
这个女孩花整晚时间跟你的朋友聊天，问你以前的事儿，要你的影集看，你觉得这是一段短暂情缘的表现吗?
21、Rachel: It’s okay. Sometimes, things don’t work out the way you’d thought they would.
有时候，生活不像你想象中那么美好。
得悉罗斯要结婚，可怜的瑞秋，她总觉得他们可以分分合合，可一旦没有了合的可能，她才感觉到对方的重要。
22、Phoebe: So, did shopping make you feel any better about Ross?
购物能减轻你对罗斯的思念吗?
Rachel: Manhattan does not have enough stores.
美国的店铺显然不够多。
23、Monica: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?
“罗斯，你什么时候开始筹备的这场婚礼?”
Ross: I don’t know. A month?
“记不清了，一个多月前吧。”
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. That’s what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, w. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
“女孩子在五岁的时候就开始幻想她的婚礼了，她们要最完美的婚礼，最理想的地方，更重要的，她们想要一个真正懂得这场仪式对她有多大意义的人来托付终身。”
24、Rachel: Y’know what? No. It’s not over until someone says, "I do."
在他们正式结婚以前，我是不会放弃的。
25、Minister: Take thee, Emily...
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...